
Desktop Backgroung part 34
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If you were to look through a dictionary, you should find something like this:
LOVE
• To have strong feelings of affection for another adult and be romantically and sexually attracted to them
• Warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion
• Unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another
LUST
• An overwhelming desire or craving: a lust for power
• Usually intense or unbridled sexual desire
• Intense eagerness or enthusiasm
Notice how different they can be?
Seeing the sign that you could possibly be dangerously in love? True love, the genuine care and concern for your love is what we should be having. But lust, the uncontrolled desire or craving for your love is certainly not to be desired. Having too much of lust than to love can certainly bring danger to your love relationship. But well, we are still human afterall and I must say that these very two emotions is certainly within and happening inside of us. You can never deny that fact that you will be having lust at times. But perhaps all these while, it just didn’t occur to you that you have at times been actually feeling so, having some uncontrolled lust over your love. So, I thought it would be good to just bring to your attention and make you be aware of it, to allow you to be better handling your emotions.
In simple, we can say that love is a choice; a choice that you hope to have; to be having that chance to be with that someone whom you love, having that chance to genuinely and unselfishly be giving him or her your true tender love and care, bringing about that happiness for him or her. Whereas lust is a want, an obsessive desire to have purely for self-satisfaction and pleasure.
When you love someone, you love him or her for who they are. You always respect your love and never insist on them doing things that are against their will, which may include having sex. Now, love is always a two-way communication and not just about you. In a love relationship, you give and take. You don’t just take and take. By only taking and not giving, you are actually behaving in a way of having lust, wanting just more and more for yourself out of the relationship. Instead of providing your love with happiness, you are only thinking about how your love can or should make you happy. To describe it in a more ugly way, you are just loving yourself more than to actually loving him or her. And this is certainly not the way as to how a love relationship should be. A blissful love relationship should always be mutual, a mutual happiness for the both. Many at times, we tend to just think for ourselves and this can be especially so for those who are already in a steady love relationship for or a year or more. Well, in the beginning of the love relationship, both would always be on their best to make their love, their partner happy. Just recall those sweet memories. Don’t you just genuinely feel happy when you were able to make them smile and happy back then? And to even be happy when accepting their bad habits and faults? But very often, it is sad to be saying that thing changes when the both eventually got together. Finding faults with one another, quarreling over the slightest things. All the initial acceptance of one another was just not longer there anymore. And for some, sadly to even have to end the very relationship. Now, are you in a love relationship; one which has already passes that initial honeymoon period? Still going steadily with one another? If you are, well done and congratulations!
But do let me just ask. Between the both, who has been the one whom is always the one giving? Well, there must certainly have been one of you who have been the one giving more. Think about it. Whoever that may be, I would say that he or she has given you their true love and care, a wonderful and unselfish love. And this is definitely a love you should cherish, a love whom you should respect. Do just honestly ask yourself. Have you unknowingly at times react in a way of lust, unreasonably blaming your love when he or she is not able to meet your expectations; not able to make you happy? And not to mention having forcing him or her to do something against their will just to satisfy your very own wants, to making you yourself happy? Remember, nobody is perfect and that includes you. And that is why we have to learn to give and take. We were taught that since young and it absolutely applies too in a love relationship.
Having a baby can be stressful to any relationship, sleepless nights, constant care and the non-stop demand of a newborn can leave a couple worn out and just wanting sleep, peace or rest more than anything else. However, as with anything, the baby will grow and the parents will get more sleep.
Yet, despite the fact that sleep may return to normal, the day-to-day lifestyle begins to perceptibly shift. Concerns about errands, your children’s activities and your own can begin to overwhelm the need to take a night out for just the two of you. Being parents means that you tend to list yourself as last on the list for ‘fun’ or ‘down-time.’ It seems selfish to want to be away from your kids or just have a night where the two of you can go out together and be a couple rather than being parents.
While it might seem a little selfish, it’s actually a very important bit of selfish because all healthy relationships need to have time spent on them. If it’s a matter of not being able to find a babysitter, offer to swap with another couple. You take care of their kids for one evening a week so they can go out and they can take care of yours the following week. Many daycares, Churches and other organizations offer ‘parents night out’ – usually a four-hour window of time where your kids enjoy planned activities and you enjoy a few hours together.
Date nights aren’t the only way to keep romance alive. Little notes left in a place your spouse or partners are sure to find them. You can send flowers, cook a favorite dinner or even just curl up together on a sofa after the children have gone to bed to watch a movie. Time with your spouse is precious and should be treated as such. Don’t let the pressures and stresses of life let you take another person for granted.
The hardest part about having children is the sheer wealth of time, emotion and energy you invest in them. Don’t doubt for an instant that your children are worth it, but there is a new type of stress that your relationship will undergo as you transform from couple to parents. Parents lose sleep, parents are always busy, and there is always something for parents to be doing. Parents rarely get to sleep in and in some cases, rarely get to go out anymore.
If you discover that you are spending less and less time with your spouse and that your romantic gestures have been reduced to a half-wave as you pass the coffee in the morning, then it’s time to re-ignite the intimacy in your relationship. It’s a lot easier than you might think it is, because you were a couple before you were parents.
The first thing to remember about being a couple is that couples need quality time together and that begins with setting aside time for each other that isn’t about work, bills, household chores or your child. If your infant is too young or you aren’t comfortable with going out for a long period of time; make plans for a date evening at home. As soon as the baby is down for the night or their longest sleep cycle – four or five hours – share a nice dinner, either ordered in or prepared together and watch a movie or just talk. Don’t worry about the dishes, the laundry, and the work that you brought home from the office – those four or five hours are for the two of you alone. Turn off the phone; let your friends and family know that this is a 'don’t show up' night.
Remember love tokens – those little gifts of affection that you used to give each other? Do that again. If you both work all week, take turns giving the other one a morning to sleep in and breakfast in bed on the weekends. If you like to write love notes, leave them for each other to find. The most important thing to re-igniting romance in your relationship is to remember – you love this person and their smile is what you are working for. So, pick up a single carnation or a box of their favorite candies or even just a movie that you’ll enjoy – be thoughtful, be creative and most of all, remember to be in love.
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