Love vs Lust

Ever have the thought that you could be dangerously in love? Falling into the danger of having confusion and misunderstanding between love and lust, unable to handle your emotions well enough? Now, what is the difference between love and lust? Well, I should believe that it is something worth our thoughts and understanding.

If you were to look through a dictionary, you should find something like this:

LOVE

• To have strong feelings of affection for another adult and be romantically and sexually attracted to them

• Warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion

• Unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another

LUST

• An overwhelming desire or craving: a lust for power

• Usually intense or unbridled sexual desire

• Intense eagerness or enthusiasm

Notice how different they can be?
Seeing the sign that you could possibly be dangerously in love? True love, the genuine care and concern for your love is what we should be having. But lust, the uncontrolled desire or craving for your love is certainly not to be desired. Having too much of lust than to love can certainly bring danger to your love relationship. But well, we are still human afterall and I must say that these very two emotions is certainly within and happening inside of us. You can never deny that fact that you will be having lust at times. But perhaps all these while, it just didn’t occur to you that you have at times been actually feeling so, having some uncontrolled lust over your love. So, I thought it would be good to just bring to your attention and make you be aware of it, to allow you to be better handling your emotions.

In simple, we can say that love is a choice; a choice that you hope to have; to be having that chance to be with that someone whom you love, having that chance to genuinely and unselfishly be giving him or her your true tender love and care, bringing about that happiness for him or her. Whereas lust is a want, an obsessive desire to have purely for self-satisfaction and pleasure.

When you love someone, you love him or her for who they are. You always respect your love and never insist on them doing things that are against their will, which may include having sex. Now, love is always a two-way communication and not just about you. In a love relationship, you give and take. You don’t just take and take. By only taking and not giving, you are actually behaving in a way of having lust, wanting just more and more for yourself out of the relationship. Instead of providing your love with happiness, you are only thinking about how your love can or should make you happy. To describe it in a more ugly way, you are just loving yourself more than to actually loving him or her. And this is certainly not the way as to how a love relationship should be. A blissful love relationship should always be mutual, a mutual happiness for the both. Many at times, we tend to just think for ourselves and this can be especially so for those who are already in a steady love relationship for or a year or more. Well, in the beginning of the love relationship, both would always be on their best to make their love, their partner happy. Just recall those sweet memories. Don’t you just genuinely feel happy when you were able to make them smile and happy back then? And to even be happy when accepting their bad habits and faults? But very often, it is sad to be saying that thing changes when the both eventually got together. Finding faults with one another, quarreling over the slightest things. All the initial acceptance of one another was just not longer there anymore. And for some, sadly to even have to end the very relationship. Now, are you in a love relationship; one which has already passes that initial honeymoon period? Still going steadily with one another? If you are, well done and congratulations!

But do let me just ask. Between the both, who has been the one whom is always the one giving? Well, there must certainly have been one of you who have been the one giving more. Think about it. Whoever that may be, I would say that he or she has given you their true love and care, a wonderful and unselfish love. And this is definitely a love you should cherish, a love whom you should respect. Do just honestly ask yourself. Have you unknowingly at times react in a way of lust, unreasonably blaming your love when he or she is not able to meet your expectations; not able to make you happy? And not to mention having forcing him or her to do something against their will just to satisfy your very own wants, to making you yourself happy? Remember, nobody is perfect and that includes you. And that is why we have to learn to give and take. We were taught that since young and it absolutely applies too in a love relationship.

How Important Are Looks?

How important are looks? Let me put it this way. After doing initial research for this chapter, it was a tough choice between plastic surgery or suicide. First, let's get the bad news out of the way for those of us, male or female, who are less than a 10 in the looks department. Looks count! Remember in high school when you asked about a blind date's looks and your best friend said, "Oh, she's got a great personality" or "He's a really nice guy." The kiss of death, right? Yes, looks count on first meeting, especially to men. However, looks are a perception, and we can manipulate perceptions. What God cheated us out of in the looks department, we can make up for through clever techniques that have a lot more to do with your Quarry's first impressions of you (your body language, self-image, and communications skills) than they do with makeup.

What do we consider good-looking? It varies, of course, from culture to culture. In our country, thin is in. (Not so for the Sirono women from Bolivia who constantly gorge themselves to become a nice fat armful for their men.) American men prefer to kiss slightly curved Cupid's-bow lips. (Not so for Ubangis, who put saucers in their lips to stretch them out like pancakes.)Different standards of beauty prevail around the world, but one thing remains constant. Mother Nature plays a role in telling us who's hot and who's not. Even in modern-day America, women like a man with strong features who looks like he would be a good, caring provider. Men like a woman who looks like she is sexy and could bear healthy children. Studies tell us precisely what is in vogue.

What Type of Looks Do Women Like?
Here is what a group of researchers found that women most liked in a man's face:
Women are attracted to men whose appearances elicit their nurturant feelings; who appear to possess sexual maturity and dominance characteristics; who seem sociable, approachable and of high social status . . . Individuals who display an optimal combination of neotenous (boyish) features of large eyes, the mature features of prominent cheekbones and a large chin, the expressive feature of a big smile, and high-status clothing were seen more attractive than other men. What type of body do women like? American women generally prefer men of average build, but bigger above the waist than below. The studies tell us they prefer V's to pears. However, taste varies depending on the class of the woman judging the male anatomy. Women on the lower end of
the socioeconomic totem pole prefer muscle men. Conversely, highly paid professional women find hefty beefcake downright distasteful. They go for the dark, slim, and sensitive body types.

hat about height? One assumes the taller the better because our culture venerates height. In fact, practically every president elected in the United States since 1900 was the taller of the two candidates. The Wall Street Journal reported that taller graduating college students (6'2" and over) received an average starting salary 12.4 percent higher than those who were under six feet tall. Yet, in the sexual arena, apparently taller isn't better. Women of all sizes—short, medium, and tall—rated a variety of men equal in all features except height. The medium sizers won. Gentlemen, speaking of size (yes, the size of it), the only source I can turn to is a recent article in a popular woman's magazine called "Is Big Really Better?" The article equivocated (lest readers' husbands get hold of the article and be emotionally destroyed). However, a photograph accompanying the article left the question open. Two attractive women were shown rolling on the floor in hysterics as one of their friends held up a baby finger.

What Type of Looks Do Men Like?
When answering researchers' questions about women's looks, men were less articulate. A typical answer was, "Uh, gee, well, you know [grunt, grunt], uh, good-looking." However, a group of resolute scientists plodded on and zeroed in on what the average male considers attractive. Yes, thin is definitely in. For women especially. In an analysis of singles' ads, researchers discovered, out of twenty-eight desirable qualities, thinness topped the list for men. Again, this varied with the class and personality of the man. More extroverted and lower-class men choose large-breasted, wide-hipped women. More introverted and upper-class males choose smaller-framed women. A group of men from various classes was shown photos of large-breasted nudes in typical pinup poses along with some pictures of more fully clothed attractive women. The results were as expected when the men were asked which they would like for a roll in the hay. However, when questioned on which they would prefer as a wife, both upper- and lower-class men

chose the more clothed woman. Many of the upper-class men even preferred the clothed lady for a roll in the hay (or a tryst in the backseat of their Mercedes). Unfortunately, the studies weren't any more enlightening on the specific facial features men like. This is probably because, like in all other aspects of their lives, men don't pay as much attention to detail as women do. There was a time when our culture was obsessed with symmetry. No longer. And, in times gone by, men wanted women in the lighter ranges of their own ethnic coloring. Women preferred just the opposite. Darker-hued men got top points. However, as our melting pot boils faster, the old blond-haired, blue-eyed, angel-faced beauty standard is rapidly changing. Some of today's top beauties are very different from that stereotypical idea. Now it's the look. Fortunately, if you weren't born with the look, you can get it—with a little brains, some imagination, and a makeup bag. The only generalization we can make on looks is that both sexes prefer people with a clear complexion, a slender body, shiny hair, straight white teeth, and clear eyes—in other words, healthy.

Why people kiss

That is to say, what happens, to the various parts of the body when two people in love join their lips in bliss? Years ago, before our biologists knew of the existence of the glands in our bodies, one writer quoted a scientist as saying that "kissing is pleasant because the teeth, jawbones and lips are full of nerves, and when the lips meet an electric current is generated."

What nonsense! what utter nonsense!

KISSING IS PLIEASANT

Once this hunger for the opposite sex evidences itself, there occurs in the human body what is known as tumescence which, in simple language, is the rhythmical contraction of the various muscles of the body together with the functioning of certain glands, just which glands science has been unable to say definitely. Gland specialists know, by performing certain operations, that the adrenal, the pituitary, the gonad and certain other glands, control the sexual behavior of human beings. It is these glands that re-act, that secrete what are known as hormones into the blood which, in turn, carries them into the various organs effected by a sexual reaction.

Therefore, it can be seen that it is the partial satisfying of the sex-hunger that makes kissing pleasurable.' Electricity is used for turning motors and lighting lamps and heating curling irons. But electricity 4oes not give complete satisfaction to the kiss. But enough of dry science!
We have ahead of us pleasurable reading of the bliss of the kiss. Now that we have learned why it is that men and women kiss, let us go into the methods used in. kissing so as to derive the most satisfaction from this most soul-appeasing of pleasures.

The only kiss that counts is the one exchanged by two people who are in love with each other. That is the first essential of the satisfying kiss. For a kiss is really the union of two soul-mates who have come together because they were made for each other. The. reason for this is that the kiss is really the introduction to love, true love. The kiss prepares the participants for the love life of the future. It is the foundation, the starting point of sexual love. And it is for that reason that the manner in which the kiss is performed is so vitally important.
There are still young women extant who believe that babies are the result of kisses Actually! this is a fact! And this condition exists because our parents, in the main, are either ignorant of the methods of explaining sex to their children or are too embarrassed to enlighten them. The result is that their children obtain their sexual information from the streets and alleys or else remain ignorant of it and believe such things as was mentioned above.

Man and woman are born to love, marry and beget children. Woman is so physically constituted that she is the one who bears the child. Man, on the other hand, is given the duty of being the protector of his wife and, after they are born, of his children. Therefore, he must always be the one who takes the initiative. He must be strong, he must be willing, he must be physically able to take care of his charges, He must be the aggressor.
It is, therefore, necessary that the man be taller than the woman. The sychological reason for this is that he must always give the impression of being his woman's superior, both mentally and especially physically. The physical reason, with which we are more concerned, is that if he is taller that his woman, he is better able to kiss her. He must be able to sweep her into his strong arms, and tower 6ver her, and look down into her eyes, and cup her chin in his fingers and 1 hen, bend over her face and plant his eager, virile lips on her moist, slightly parted, inviting ones. All of this he must do with the vigor of an assertive male. And, all of these are impossible where. the woman is the taller of the-two.
For when the situation is reversed, the kiss becomes only a ludicrous banality. The physical mastery is gone, the male prerogative is gone, everything is gone but the fact that two lips are touching two other lips. Nothing can be more disappointing.

Exchange Contacts

I’ve personally stopped focusing on just getting phone numbers. I’ve found that e-mail addresses are far better. Let me explain. I perfected the art of getting phone numbers a couple of years ago. If a woman is single, I can walk up together and get her number in about a minute. I found out later, after working like a mad scientist on this skill, that numbers don’t equal success.You see, women have many different reasons for giving out their phone numbers. Some love the attention of having a lot of men call them. Some like to turn guys down.Some are actually interested. But based on the universal feedback that I get from men and my personal experience, women act differently on the phone than they do in person. When you call a woman for the first time, she’ll often start acting stand offish or even worse, just plain rude. I’ve found that getting an e-mail address is not only easier, but it gets more positive responses later on.

It’s almost like women appreciate it that you’ve taken the time to think about what you’re going to say when you write an e-mail to them. The other benefit of e-mail is that it can be written and answered anytime. If you call, you have to actually reach them. But an e-mail can be answered anytime. And I’ve found that e-mails are answered far more often than voicemail messages.

Here’s the how-to:
After I’ve talked to a woman for about 3 or 4 minutes, I’ll often say something like, “Well, it was nice meeting you. I’m going to get back to my friends.” They usually don’t know what to do, as they’re used to guys clinging. Then, just as I’m turning to walk away… and we kind of disconnect… I turn back and say, “Hey, do you have email?” If they say ‘yes’, I take out a pen and paper and have them write it down. (This is great, as I just treat the ‘yes’ that they give me as a ‘yes’ to get it from them as well. And they’ve ALL gone along with it so far.) Then I say,“Write your number down there too.” I won’t go into all of it, but this move is a powerhouse. When you ask for email, it’s very low risk for them… so they think, “Fine, I’ll do that”… and then when they’re already writing, I get the phone number too… which is more natural. If they say no, then I bust on them and say, “Well, do you have electricity?” Then I say, “Well, OK then… I like e-mail better, but I’ll take your regular phone number… it’s so damn hard to reach people on the phone these days.

”I hope you get what just happened… OK, then, as they’re writing I say, “Is this a number that you actually answer?” If not, then I say, “Look, write your real number down… it’s going to be OK… I’ll only call you nine times a day.” They laugh and give me their real number. Just realize that all you have to do is ask. Like I said, I’ve tried all kinds of things. Many guys say, “But what do I tell her as a reason why I want her number or e-mail?” I’ve never had a woman ask me. If you ask and they give it, then she knows why you asked.
If she doesn’t give it to you, then she also knew why you asked. Just assume that this is the case. If you ask every time, and you do it in a smooth, assuming, calm way, you’ll get a lot of e-mails and phone numbers.

Note: Carry a pen with you at all times.